Drop Dead Fred II

Will you wait for me?

Tell me, save me, please

Will you wait for me?

All I've ever had is my imaginary friend

Mischief led to pain and tears that seem to never end

The creature that I see, only visible to me

A physic crisis so realistic that my soul will rend

Will you wait for me?

Tell me, save me, please

Will you wait for me?

Everything forgotten now that never really was

The way he acts, there is a reason, never just because

The demon shall return, a problematic burn

When desparate measures fail us, we will disregard the laws

Will you wait for me?

Tell me, save me, please

Will you wait for me?

What mother ruled is all grown up, and living without care

Imagination served its purpose with well-chosen dare

We've won our revolution, a pretty resolution

The light fantastic brought together souls with time to spare

Will you wait for me?

Set my mind at ease

Will you wait for me?

Exposing all the fears inside with magic incantation

Assertion and creativity will find me liberation

The love is healing, thoughts are revealing

I've finally found a better, found a brighter temptation

Will you wait for me?

Now I've found the key

Will you wait for me?

Hold on, wait for me

My Soul Is Dark - Analysis

My Soul Is Dark

from Byron's poem, stanza 1

My soul is dark -

I cannot sleep, because I dream

and when I dream then comes the scream

that ruins my rest, and ruins my day,

wishing it would run away.

Oh! quickly string The harp

The golden strings that sound so fair

There is beauty on the air,

but I can't play nor read the score;

if only I had learned before.

I yet can brook to hear;

A pin dropping in a silent room,

something to break through the gloom

If I strain, I just might find

the sound of silence, and peace of mind.

And let thy gentle fingers

When I close my eyes, I almost feel

the touch of your hand, seems so real

as I watch that trembling rush

of heat that comes when fingers brush.

fling Its melting murmurs o'er mine ear.

Your voice resonates, in harp and song,

and I remember nights that were long,

whispering sweet nothings in the air

as the music flows on without care.

If in this heart

What is a heart, what is a soul?

With or without, I'm never whole

and so I lie awake in bed

trying to match my heart with head.

a hope be dear,

To be young again, to laugh and play,

to sit beneath the golden rays

of the sun I used to hail

when life was free from pain and bale.

That sound shall charm it forth again:

Sticks and stones were magic words

Every day might seem absurd

to those who'd given up on youth

and fallen prey to earthen truth.

If in these eyes

A mix of blue and violet, green,

a beautiful storm, sometimes obscene

You looked at me with such delight

yet now, all I can see is spite.

there lurk a tear,

I cry for love, I cry for me,

I rain for things that cannot be

If this is what my dreams are from

I'll drown them out, and strike them dumb.

'Twill flow,

Swiftly passing planets lie,

waiting for someone to die

and drift across the River Styx;

a single life is eighty-six.

and cease to burn my brain.

Ashes will fall from a young one's tower

All dreams wither, as a flower,

never to rise, or see the day;

My soul is dark, and thus will stay.

Vodka & Oreos

The breath of death lingers at the door to my very soul
"Hello, it's me," it whispers, refusing to be ignored
While I struggle to find some semblance of being whole,
And plastered in my mind is the image of you, and the door

I'm dissolute, and it's absolute I won't cry to sleep
Though still I drown, in ice cream, in drink
"I pray, thee, Lord, my soul to keep"
Because I can't begin to process, nor try to think

And no one knows, I haven't said a word
I keep smiling, wearing pretty dresses and ribbons, too
The idea itself just seems absurd
And I wonder how many others I told about you

In my heart, my mind, my castle, I'm all numb
While outside I've spun tales greater than Scheherezade
And I can't quite remember, "Some day my prince will come,"
For this princess is only faking that graceful façade

And that death, that feeling that lingers still
Beckons me to something altogether drastic
And I'm torn, "To be or not to be," against my will
Was love really that fantastic?

"Hello, it's me," that small voice still calls
It thinks it's got me where it wants, found the ultimate goal
But somehow, I'm still here living in hallowed halls
For chocolate disinfects my soul.

New Year, New Beginnings...

Life is crazy, as always...

A few things have happened, and they are the impetus behind my New Year's Resolutions...
First, I'm going to learn how to cook. I don't know how my husband has put up with me for all this time when I can make stuff in the microwave but the stove goes up in flames when I try anything else, so I have to learn. Though I'd appreciate if any recipes you can recommend would be easy ones, please?
Second, I'm going to seriously look into buying a house. Apartments are nice and they serve their purpose, but when you're thinking of starting a family, well...though I've been told I should wait until after I graduate, so maybe I'll push this to next year? Decisions, decisions...
And third, I'm going to finish a novel this year. Ideas are overflowing in my mind, and I start and stop and start and stop, but that stop isn't the end, and I really need to find it. Plus, since it's me, of course it will be a best-seller, and then I can finally pay for my own things instead of relying on my mother's trust fund.
I wish the three were as easy to do as they were to put into words...

Wish me luck!!

Apologies, one and all...

I disappear for months on end and come back with an utterly depressing poem about love and betrayal and no explanation? I'm horrible, aren't I?
This poem was not written about my own circumstances, though, fear not, I am still happily married!! Though I wish he'd do the dishes more often, but that's neither here nor there.
No, see, it's about my sister Taylor (the baby of the family; I have two sisters, fyi). She's a month away from her nineteenth birthday, and she just started school --the same as ME, which is totally YAY-- and she'd been seeing this kid Jack since she was sixteen, and it kind of looked like the whole 'high school sweethearts together forever' type of thing. And then on Saturday, she got a phone call from him (he's at school in California, and is actually a year older than her), and he said he'd fallen for someone else.
Bastard.
Though okay, I get it, people drift apart, and props to him for actually calling her and not texting her or sending her a letter or something. Plus, he had the sense (or coincidental timing, at least), to not break her heart before midterms, because as much as we all love Taylor, I'm pretty sure my mother would have killed her if she'd flunked, even over this.
I'd still like to, I don't know, maybe tear Jack's head off? I mean, two and a half years is a long time, isn't it? And who knows what promises he made that he'll never keep now...
Taylor is dealing, but I can tell she's not the same happy baby sister I once knew.
If anyone has any tips on dealing with heartbreak, please let me know, because I'm at a bit of a loss...

Did I lie?

I said I'd be there
I said I'd call
I said I'd save you from them all

Tell me, did I lie?

I said I need you
I said I'm sure
I said I love you even more

Tell me, did I lie?

I said it first
I said it last
I said that nothing would go past

Tell me, did I lie?

You said forever
I said yes
You said we'd never settle for less

Tell me, did I lie?
Tell me, did you lie?
Tell me, please, tell me, now
Was it all a lie?

Notoriously Absent

Though I'm still around, I promise!!
Life is great and crazy, and I'm entering my junior year at school and dealing with living with another person (and not just some crazy dormmate I can ignore, which was fun, but so not real life!) and though my muse is still in action, my sharing with the world is a bit out of action...
First off, though, I shall point you to my dear friend Mallie, who was kind enough to mention me in one of her recent posts:
http://mallieontheroad.wordpress.com/
She's brilliant, to be honest, and I don't know what she sees in me.
HOWEVER...
I shall not be out-done...
Just wait for me, please, I'll be back tomorrow (I hope!) and give you some more radicalness courtesy of me...
:)